During the holiday season, one will receive many an unwanted gift. No matter what the gift is, who gave it, or why it’s unwanted, there are several steps to removing it from your life. Assuming a gift receipt has not been furnished, or that is not applicable, one should tread carefully. Many things can be returned to stores with out receipts shortly after the holidays, depending on the item and store. If the stores cannot take the item back, simply sell it on the internet or trade it on the street for drugs.
If the unwanted gift is a handmade object however, destruction is your only option. One simply cannot risk the maker seeing their handiwork being sold on ebay, or in the hands of a crack dealer. Fire is usually the best method, although with metal or ceramics you may have to resort to hammers or even throwing it off of a bridge over a deep river.
If worst comes to worst, you may even have to kill the gift giver. This solution is extreme, but is the only answer if they continually pester you about that lovely puke colored sweater they gave you last St. Swiven’s Day. In these situations, it’s often useful to keep an unwanted gift around. An ugly sweater can often work as a makeshift garrote and a “thing that you don’t know what it is, but it’s got a hook for holding it too the wall, except it’s too heavy and broke the hook and besides it’s ugly as hell, whatever it is” can make a perfect bludgeon.
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