Interesting Facts: King Arthur

King Arthur was not actually a king, nor was he named Arthur. His real name was Steve Davis, but he decided to change it because he wanted to avoid confusion with the snooker player. Instead of being the king of England, he was actually Dog Catcher for the Rutland area. He was a very good dog catcher though, one worthy of legend. As his legend grew, so did the rank.

Strangely, as his legend grew, it also went back in time. Steve was a dog catcher in 1941, but the legend now claims that Arthur was around just after the fall of the Roman Empire. Story Logicians claims that by 2136 the legend of King Arthur will have taken place during the Cretaceous Period and will be about a velociraptor named Kent.

Interesting Facts: Silver Banksia

The plant that became the Silver Banksia of Southern Australia was first imported by American tobacco merchants in the late 1790s in hopes of destroying Australia’s burgeoning tobacco market. The plan unfortunately worked too well as most of Australia was turned into a desert by the plant’s destructive nature.

Since that time, Australians have always hated America and as a result only smoke cigarettes made from Chinese tobacco. Sadly for them, Chinese tobacco is actually a euphemism for the hardened and dried droppings of rabbits that roam the steppes of Mongolia.




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Interesting Facts: Pac-Man

Despite what some might think, Pac-Man does have an end game cinematic. All one must do is clear the 257th maze. Upon winning one will find a surprisingly detailed cinematic, explaining Pac-Man’s back-story, and chronicling his attempt to re-enter society after bingeing on so many power pellets. The fact that only four people in history have actually seen this cinematic has not dissuaded the makers of the game to put it into every version of the game that has ever been produced.

With the cut scenes in place, the story becomes a symbolic retelling of Satan tempting Christ. Inky is Satan, Blinky is Beelzebub, Pinky is Leviathan and Clyde is (as always) Clyde. The power pellets are actually communion wafers, and they reflect the real life aspect that anyone who eats one can then devour a ghost, but that power only lasts for 30 seconds.



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The Australian Barn Owl

The Australian Barn Owl neither is neither an owl nor a denizen of barns. It's actually a small apple like fruit. The Australians credit the name as "Something to screw with the English, ya know?" It should also be noted that it comes from New Zealand.




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Interesting Facts: Blue Whales

The Blue Whale is actually the smallest of all cetaceans. The reason people think it’s the largest is due to it having hired a Washington D.C. public relations firm to look after its image. It is also the least trustworthy of whales, prone to lying and blaming others for its problems. In many ways, the Blue Whale is entirely to blame for the Credit Crunch of 2008.




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Interesting Facts: Corfu

The Kalif or Boss of Corfu has, by tradition, six wives and two husbands. This is because while a new Kalif may have more, they must never have less spouses than the last. When Margaret McGonagall became Kalif in 1842 she brought her then Husband and another man who she promptly married as well. This means that the Kalif of Corfu is the only world leader to have a gay marriage that is mandated by local laws. This is extraordinary, as the Greek Government has been convinced that Corfu sank into the ocean and became a part of Spain in 1422.




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Interesting Facts: Vuvuzela

Despite what you've heard, Isambard Kingdom Brunel actually invented the vuvuzela. He did this mostly as an early attempt at trans-continental communication. This became untenable when the trans-Atlantic telegraph cable was put in place.

Augustus Caesar really, really hated the vuvuzela. He thought they were a plot hatched by the Milk Marketing Board. But then, he was nuts. In actuality, it was a plot from the powerful Fortune Cookie Cabal.

Little known fact: Rita Hayworth started off as a Vuvuzela saleswoman.


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Interesting Facts: Callisto

Callisto, the fourth moon of Jupiter and the third moon of Saturn (by weight) is actually a former asteroid that was caught and tamed by the gas giant’s gravity. It was originally a small scrap of rock, but has filled out quite nicely under the care of a loving owner. Callisto is actually the fifth name this moon has had. Each society to discover it has given it a different name, although all of those names have turned up as characters on Xena Warrior Princess.

Scientists speculate that below the surface of Callisto lies the biggest depository of raspberry jam existent in the galaxy. By 2036, NASA hopes to launch a probe that will be able to drill into the candy shell of Callisto can extract the jam for immediate retrieval. It’s hoped that the jam will arrive before the raspberry blight, which will wipe out the species in 2051. Said blight being long planned by the powerful Cherry Confederation who have long been tired of Raspberry’s popularity with the jam buying public.




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Interesting Facts: Gamera

The 1965 movie Gamera and subsequent sequels are actually docudramas about a giant space borne turtle with rockets for flippers that invaded Japan in 1960. Gamera became a friend to all children and to make up for his initial destruction of Tokyo agreed to star in the movies based on his life, giving his fee to a charity set up to the victims of Kaiju attacks.

Kaiju is a bigger problem in Asia than North America or Europe, though neither of these continents has been entirely free of them. South America and Africa often have attacks of giant monsters though. They are frequently forced to combat monsters that look a lot like giant men in rubber suits. Interestingly, Godzilla actually is a giant who insists on wearing a massive rubber suit when destroying countries.



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Interesting Facts: Axe Murderers

The average axe murderer kills 19.7 people over the length of their career, but only kills 5.543 of those with an axe. Only 43% of all axe murderers actually wear a mask or try to conceal their identity in some way. Most are not even mute, but like to sing show tunes while they hack people to death with the axe.

Most axes used by axe murderers are traditional steel, single bladed axes with wood handles and are normally sold by hardware stores with the intention of splitting wood. When asked about newer composite handles, most admit that while the light weight and greater strength might be an advantage, one can’t compare with the classic feel a good strong oak handle gives.



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Interesting Facts: Honey Bees

In 1922, Scientists at Cornell University conclusively proved that Honey Bees can’t fly without a Class C Pilot’s license.

Later that same year, at the New Brunswick College for advanced Research it was discovered that honey bees don’t actually make honey but gather it through daring nighttime raids of the nests of the Canadian Honey Wasp who manufacture it from the pollen they steal from Chinese Limpet Ants.



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Interesting Facts: Zebras

The zebra is actually a kind of cat that went vegan in the 15th century and traded in its claws for hooves during the War of the Roses. They kept their distinct stripy pattern however, because it looked cool and allowed them to lord their fashion sense over other animals on the plains.

Zebras are well known in the field of research as being amazingly good at First Person Shooter video games, but rubbish at JRPGs. They’ve been used extensively to test the latest games in the FPS market and one recently won the Tour De Shooter contest over 300 humans and an orangutan in a zebra costume.

Interesting Facts: Belgium

Despite what you may have been told, Belgium is not actually a country. It is a loose confederation of City States who don't actually like each other, but are even more dedicated to the idea that they don't want to be considered French. Mapmakers simply called the place "Belgium" after the waffle, which is actually known as a Belgiumed waffle since the deeper divots in such a products are called belgiums.




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Interesting Facts: James Watt

James Watt didn’t actually invent the steam engine, what he actually invented was electricity. He lent his name to the measuring of his invention, and later his son used his invention to make a brand of scotch, which he lent his name too. He then used the scotch to power the steam engine which he and his father we busy claiming credit for. Jameson Scotch is currently the only scotch still used to power steam engines.

James Watt was later sued by Steve Steamengine for copyright infringement. The two fought a duel at down in New South Wales where Watt was hiding out from Michael Electricity, who also had a claim to his famous “bottled lightning” which he claimed Watt had stolen.



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