New Cocktails: Red Fizz

A fizzy red drink, for the sort of person who wants their red drink to be fizzy!

I believe I invented this drink on a long weekend in Las Vegas with a man driving a convertible he called “The Red Shark” along with his drugged out companion. I say I believe that’s when I invented it. Actually, I invented it in a lab, while be subjected to mind controlling substances while a secret government agency was trying to indoctrinate me into their MKUltra like program. The result was a failure of course, because the mice and I formed a cabal of our own and over threw the place. I never found out what eventually became of those mice, I hope they’re okay.

2 Measures Raspberry Brandy
1 Measure Spiced Rum
3 measures Cherry Juice
Top up Tonic Water

Pour all, save the tonic water, into a into a tall glass. Stir with a bar spoon ad ice and pour in tonic water.

Etiquette: Stealing From a Party

Every spy, every gentleman burglar, every covert operative will, at some time during their career, have to steal something from the home of a wealthy person. Be it microfilm, a diamond necklace, or possibly the secret formula that all of this trouble has been about. The best time to steal such an item is of course, during a large high profile party. This seems counterintuitive, but it makes perfect sense. A large gathering gives both the opportunity to move freely about the house with the other guest who will be milling about, but also gives one the perfect chance to remain courteous to one’s victim without exposing oneself to unnecessary risk of being caught.

When one enters a party, one must always greet one’s host, even if only for a moment. Congratulate them on throwing a successful party and having such a beautiful home. Remember to compliment their family, current efforts, or any other items of note. The victim must always suppose you’ve been invited and that you are a trusted friend. Then slip away to perform the burglary. Under no circumstances should one reveal that they are going to perform the theft, that’s arrogance and will tip off the plucky and witty security officer that has been loaned to the person for the purposes of the party.

Remember that said security personnel has likely been assigned specifically to stop you.
Always perform ample set up work, making sure the memorize the lay out of the building, any and all security measures and of course check the guest list to see if anyone who might inadvertently recognize you will be in attendance. Always bring your own tools, and remember to clean up the crime scene after yourself, putting everything back in its proper place (saving the object marked out for removal) to prevent premature discovery.

One should leave a memento in the place of the object taken, in deed sometimes a false version of the object is a must. However, a note or token to let people know who exactly has robbed them is often considered polite. One does not wish for people of wealthy and standing to think they were robbed by an ordinary criminal. One must be polite and charming, since it may just be that charm that helps you get away when caught.




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