Hiding the corpse of a recently killed person can be time consuming and difficult to perform on your own. The best idea is to have a friend to help dispose of the body. Of course, the optimal situation is to have your friend implicated in the killing so that there’s as much interest for them as there is for you. If that can’t be done, a true friend will still help you in this task.
The question then becomes, how to do you properly thank a friend for helping you dispose of the body? It greatly depends on the level of help your friend has given you. If you’ve inadvertently shot someone in the face and you’re just keeping your car in his garage while you clean out the back seat, then you need no more than a six-pack of domestic beer. If you’re friend is helping you throw a body off a bridge in hopes that the river might wash it away, then a few bottles of nice imported stuff is called for.
If your friend has given even more help, such as actually dismembering and burying the body then a few bottles of fine old whisky, scotch or bourbon is called for. These liquors should be of considerable quality and have spent between 15 and 20 years in the cask. If your friend doesn’t care for whisky, then Brandy of V.S.O.P. or X.O. varieties will be acceptable.
If a friend simply shows up, takes the body and makes all problems simply vanish while telling you not to worry, something special is needed. Such a friend, if they ask for no other favors, is the truest friend you could ever have. In these cases, a case of expensive Champagne or Hors d'age Brandy along with a box of fine imported chocolates is required. One should also always remember to keep such a friend on any and all holiday card lists one might keep.
Share
No comments:
Post a Comment